Original title: PISMO NEPOZNATOJ By Milan Todorov-Author

 

An Extract from the forthcoming new novel entitled;

ALMIR and DIARA

/ LETTERS/

Translated from Serbo-Croat By Ziva Belic February 2024, London, UK

***

         I was not sure how I would feel serving my required national service in the Army, being 25 years old man as I felt already too old.

        I just finished my studies at the University in Novi Sad. And, I had only a few months before I was called up. And, just before I was due to do my national service in the Army, my father died.

        I was sad and upset. I was not sure how I would feel in the Army.

        All young conscripts were stationed at the Army Quarters barracks on the outskirts of the small town Palanka.

      

And, being in the Army I felt nervous and anxious. When we all new conscripts were lined up in a splendid raw, the captain Bozo was walking and inspecting our uniform, when he came to me, he slapped me on the shoulder- the sign of his superiority, I thought.

         Afterwards, my sergeant, Nikola from Sombor a kind man, informed me that I will be responsible to take care of the Machine gun.

         I was aware that this weapon was rather heavy to carry. I remember watching the old movies where the Machine gun was featured which was Partisan's propaganda.

        " You should not worry much about the weapon", Nikola said, as if he read my mind, and continued; "You will be working in pairs with another soldier whose job will be to carry the heavy load the boxes of ammunition and an immobile Machine gun stand.

         And, then I was introduced to a young soldier Almir.

         'Hi, I am Alimir, from Lozionice, quite near the town Pristine. "Please to meet you, I am Marko from Novi Sad. Almir I admit I never heard of your Lozionice."

        Almir was an attractive man, six years younger than me and already married with two children. And, when we were in the Army Canteen, he allowed me to have sneak look at the photo of his beautiful wife, Diara.

         All of us soldiers had to use common bathroom where the walls were bare concrete and we washed ourselves with iced cold water, in order, I guessed to toughen us.

        It was in the bathroom that Almir told me that his wife cannot read or write and it was the same, he couldn't ether.

         Although, he was likeable man, but failed to help me with the Machine gun equipment, excusing him was not well enough to carry any of the stuff due to having the stomach ulcer. He was sent to a specialist, though, the doctor found nothing wrong with his stomach.

         And, since then Almir became attached to me.

         When he received a letter from his wife Diara, Almir approached me in the Canteen and asked me;" Can you read, please, read my letter to me? It is the letter from my wife Diara."         " Almir didn't you say that Diary cannot write?", I asked. "

         It is true, she cannot write, but there is somebody who writes her letters for her." Almir said. Well, what could I do? I thought.

        "I will, Marko buy you a beer." Almir said.

         "No, Almir, you don't have to buy me a pint." I said.

        I read to him his letter from Diara. He was pleading to me to read the letter slowly.

         Letter; " Almir, Children are fine, but every now and then they catch cold. They are coughing. I can get a job, when you come back from the Army service. I'll sell Niveni in the local kiosk." Diara.

         "Please read it again", Almir asked, and continued;" What Kiosk? What Niveni? He said.     

          I did not know what to say to him." This is it, my friend, from word to word. It is possible that who wrote the letter did not understand what your wife was telling him to write?" I said.

          ''In Kiosk, they sell newspaper". Amir said.

         In Diara's letter there was not a bit of sentiment, love but, only the stark dark reality. "   

          Did you want to write to Diara back?" I asked. "

         What do you mean? You just write and I will tell you." Almir said.

           Letter to Diara; " Diara, do not be silly- what Kiosk? I am ill, but all the same, I am fine. Almir. He was dictating.

          "Did you write?", Almir asked.

          " Yes, I did it," I said. " But, Almir in your letter there is no feeling of love for Diara." I could add in your letter that you miss her and also, how you miss your kids and that you are thinking about them much and that you dream about your home. Things more pleasing, and also to ask her about the government help which they promised her, and, how did she manage to sort out the Corn at Dzafer. Did she go picking apples for Selima? This is just an idea, Almir." I said.

          " No, the best is to add nothing more." Almir said curtly. " Please give me the letter to seal it in the envelope." Almir said.

          I handed the letter to him and he sealed it perhaps, I was thinking it was the best if I did not interfere in their private affair. Anyhow, the thought crossed my mind, if I did interfere, all my writing would become a dishonest portrayal of the actual fact. But, who knows, maybe in the reality of the day, the truth may not exist after all, or the truth may exists the way we imagine it.

         And, now I'm thinking; my thoughts are that nobody is defined or chosen for love or to love completely as it is the norm and also expected.

        It is not possible to measure our emotions however we might strive to decide about love and loving-I believe that each of us as a single entity has a different view of what love might be. Even in the most primitive relationships, there too nothing is defined regarding love; it is possible that there exist misunderstanding and vagueness about love.

        I am certain that love exists as a separate emotion within our being, and to be more precise and thinking about Diara, especially when I am writing to her, I managed to put her on a pedestal, wanted to believe that Diara is majestic, innocent, almost an Angel.

          I believe because of me embellishing letters to Diara, inserting words of love, Almir never directly answered Diara's questions.

          Diara or rather the person who wrote Diara's letter to Almir was sent every two weeks.

         And, one day out of the blue, early in the morning, Almir decided to shine my boots and admitted to me that Diara's letters, he asked another soldier to read it to him.

         " And, what is the content of the letter when he read it to you? I asked, being hurt for not trusting me enough. "

           It was similar to yours", Almir said. I wanted to imagine that Almir mellowed a little.